Those of ye who follow me on Twitter (shameless plug) know that I just (as of writing, literally just--got up shaking from the floor & am attempting to write this as my biceps continue to twitch) finished the final 100-in-one-set test of the 100 Push-Ups Challenge. But that is not what I am hear to talk about today. No, I'm going to be talking about love (well, sort of).
Now those of ye who know me know that I am almost constantly crushing on some someone, but fortunately I am smart (&/or well-raised) enough to recognize that a crush does not equal love. A crush is but a chemical reaction taking place in the brain acknowledging someone is somehow attractive--nothing more.
But those chemicals do have some power & it is annoying. I do not believe it is bad to be "a fool in love", as they say--a man who finds himself acting awkward and foolish when his wife or girlfriend gives him a compliment or holds his hand in public. There's something romantic about the way women have of reducing us to blushing schoolboys even as we stand tall & mighty in our so-called manliness (within reason, of course. If a man becomes a total fool & ruins his life or reputation chasing some girl, that is most definitely NOT romantic, but stupid. But that is a discussion for another time...). Anyway: the annoyance sets in when a crush demonstrates power over one that should be reserved for one's significant other.
Yes, this is brought on by something that happened. A certain person said a certain thing to me & I find myself still--many hours later--thinking back on it & being unable to suppress a smile. If this was my girlfriend this would be a good thing, but she's not. Regardless of what Sirecco (one of the 5 aspects of my personality--the one in charge of all things romance & Romance--it's complicated & also something for another time) wants, I am not ready nor do I have time for a girlfriend for at least a couple more years (sigh).
Ostensibly I'm a logical creature that should be able to just take it in stride--she's a friend, naught more--she probably doesn't even have an inkling what her off-hand remark did to me. But the lower parts of my brain won't shut up about her. I probably shouldn't even bother writing this here on the Internet as in 4 years this will all be over--I'll either have married her or moved on--but I record it so in 5, 10, 20 years people can see that even a near-emotionless man like me occasionally falls for females in a serious way. I just pray I have the self-control to not do anything bad because of it.
